Love Struck Vixen II
By Timothy Bettencourt
ACME ACRES ZOO-DAY
Sirrus, Minerva and the Warners are walking in the zoo enjoying their vacation away from Warner Brothers. Across the way, they are spotted by Buster, Babs, Plucky, Shirley, Fifi and Hamton, who all rush up to Sirrus.
BUSTER: Where have you been?! It's been fur-ever since you left! We missed you!
BABS: Things got SOOOO boring without you!
SIRRUS: I'll bet.
PLUCKY: So, have you come to try and take back Fifi?
Shirley then zaps his tail feathers and he yelps in pain.
SIRRUS: Some things never change. I'm sure you all know the Warners. This is my girlfriend Minerva Mink.
Buster and Plucky both faint. Sirrus notices that Fifi and Hamton are standing back looking down in worry. He walks up to them.
They both look up with guilt in their eyes.
FIFI: We never meant to hurt vous! We just-
Sirrus puts up a hand to stop them.
SIRRUS: It's alright. I don't bear any grudge against you two. Love looks not with the eyes. It looks with the heart. You two are meant for one another. The last thing I want is to try and stop that. Besides, (smiles at Minerva) thanks to that; I have a little slice of heaven.
Minerva giggles and blushes.
Sirrus takes both their hands in a shake, but they both receive a shock. They both look to see a buzzer in each of his hands.
SIRRUS: A classic never dies.
He laughs and everyone joins him. They all walk together and chat pleasantly.
ACME ACRES ZOO SCIENTISTS OBSERVATORY-DAY
Two scientists are watching a glass cage. The first is a short, grey haired male with a nametag reading "M. Stupid" The other is a tall, black haired woman with a nametag reading "R. A. Hottie"
STUPID: I hope you can help us with this specimen, doctor. Nothing we've tried works.
HOTTIE: If it is as extreme as you say, then this will be my greatest challenge.
Suddenly, Sally the Amazonian Polefox leaps onto the glass and smashes against it in an effort to break it, but it does not budge. She then begins tearing up the entire habitat, uprooting trees and tossing boulders.
HOTTIE: Incredible! Her anger has made her more than five times stronger than the average Polefox.
STUPID: Yes, and she has been getting worse and worse since we had to get rid of the other Polefox.
HOTTIE: That's it!
HOTTIE: This Polefox is in the lifecycle in which she needs a mate. A companion. Without one, she will become more and more aggressive until she can find one.
STUPID: But where will we find a mate for her?
Meanwhile, Sally is hanging onto the bars of the window to her cage, vainly trying to break them. She then spots Sirrus walking past. She first rubs her eyes in seeing him, then she howls and whistles in excitement and finally floats to the ground swooning.
STUPID: Doctor! Something has sated her!
HOTTIE: And that is what we need!
The two then rush outside to find what calmed Sally.
ACME ACRES PARK ZOO-DAY
The Tiny Toons and the Warners are admiring the exhibit of the lions.
BUSTER: I would hate to take on a guy like that!
YAKKO: Don't tell me you're too scared to take a chance.
BUSTER: No, I just-(looks around) Wait, where's Sirrus?
YAKKO: You don't know?
Yakko points to where Sirrus and Minerva are sitting on a park bench, nuzzling noses, holding hands and tails.
DOT: Romantic, isn't it?
FIFI: Le sigh. No wonder I fell for him.
SHIRLEY: Minerva is a really lucky girl.
The girls start swooning over the couple and the guys roll their eyes.
PLUCKY: What are we, chopped liver?
HAMTON: For once, I think you're right.
Meanwhile, Sirrus and Minerva are still cuddled together when the scientists watch them from a bush.
HOTTIE: Looks like that boy is our solution.
STUPID: What about the mink?
HOTTIE: I think I have an idea.
She then get's up and walks up to the couple.
HOTTIE: Excuse me?
The two turn to the doctor.
SIRRUS: Can I help you?
HOTTIE: I am Dr. R. A. Hottie.
SIRRUS: Not as much as Minerva.
Wakko beats a joke tune on a drum set.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) Hey, I don't write 'um, I just say 'um.
HOTTIE: Ahem, anyway, I was wondering if you might be able to help us.
SIRRUS: What can I do for you?
HOTTIE; Well, one of our polecat exhibits has a slight leak, and none of our crewmen are able to repair it, so...
SIRRUS: So you think I, as a Gold Striped Dragon Skunk could do it.
SIRRUS: Whats in it for me?
Stupid walks up and answers for her.
STUPID: How about a free lifetime pass to the zoo?
Sirrus thinks for a second, then he and Minerva huddle and mumble like football players. They then regard the scientists.
SIRRUS: Throw in free snacks and you got a deal.
SIRRUS: Okay, then. Ill be right back babe.
MINERVA: Dont take too long.
Sirrus then kisses her cheek and the scientists lead him into the observatory.
ACME ACRES ZOO SCIENTISTS OBSERVATORY-DAY
Sirrus is standing at the door to Sallys cage, thinking it holds the polecats he was told about. The scientists open it and he walks in and they close the door behind him.
SIRRUS: So, where is the-
Sally then jumps down from a tree and gasps in excitement and has a big smile. Sirrus eyes go huge in fear.
Sally then howls and dashes for Sirrus. Sirrus legs spin in an effort to get away, but Sally catches him and grips him in a hug. The scientists watch feeling satisfied.
STUPID: Well, done, doctor. Sally has been sated, finally.
HOTTIE: Now, either she will be a tender lover to the boy, or she will tear him to bits. Lets watch.
Meanwhile, Sally is cuddling Sirrus while he is trying to escape, using a jackhammer, pick and even dynamite, but nothing loosens Sallys grip. She then smiles seductively at Sirrus, who looks to the camera with a worried look.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) Im sure you all know what comes next.
Before Sally can make out with him, he interjects.
SIRRUS: Wait a minute. Before we get to that, I have to take you out to dinner.
Sally looks interested as she sets him down.
SIRRUS: Just give me a little time, and Ill have a gourmet meal ready.
Sally giggles and disappears behind a bush. Sirrus then pulls out a 16th century royal kitchen and spin changes into a French chef.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) For this evening, we shall preparing Cest magnifique hour dourves. We will be using Le Poisson, Le Mustard, La tomato, and Mon petite wine du rouge.
He pops the bizarre mix into an oven and pulls it out after a second to reveal a massive banquet.
SIRRUS: Voila! Zee dinner, it is, how you say, perfection.
He then spins back to himself.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) Ill bet you thought all I could do was drop anvils.
He then spin changes into a tux with top hat and cane and knocks on Sallys burrow.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) No, folks, I dont plan on taking her as my new girlfriend. I just plan on showing her a nice evening.
Sally then walks out wearing a dazzling blue dress and makeup.
SIRRUS: (still to the camera) I mean she is very beautiful but-
Sirrus stops when he hears purring and turns to see Sally posing. His eyes bulge out to 5 times their size. He then twitches into 5 different love reactions and hops like a dog and finishes by panting heavily. Sally pulls him close with her tail and gives him a kiss and he turns bright red with sweat streaming from him like a waterfall. He then shakes his head clear and escorts Sally to the table. He pulls out her chair for her and she gently rubs his head with her tail as she sits down. He then places a platter of gourmet meat before her with a full assortment of utensils.
SIRRUS: Bon appetite, mademoiselle.
Sally then tosses aside the utensils and madly devours the food. Sirrus shrugs to the camera.
SIRRUS: Well, nobodys perfect.
He then uses his utensils to enjoy his own meal. The scientists watch with noteboards, making notes on the actions of Sally.
STUPID: My, it seems that Sally is displaying near sentient qualities.
HOTTIE: The boy is
a very fascinating specimen.
STUPID: What do you mean?
HOTTIE; His striping led me to believe he was a Dragon Skunk, but he claims he is a Gold Striped Dragon Skunk. I had never heard of such a species before. I checked our database and found that there-
Suddenly Sirrus reaches for the side of the screen and pulls it to him and Sally.
SIRRUS: This is a cartoon, not a documentary. Sheesh!
We see that Sally has finished her meal and licking herself clean. When she finishes, she smiles at Sirrus and crawls across the table toward Sirrus, who backs away nervously.
SIRRUS: Now, lets not get excited. I mean, there is still a lot more courtship before we get to this point. I mean, theres movies, a walk on the beach, the-
Sally clamps his muzzle shut and pulls close. She then starts to tug at his shirt and jacket.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) Okay, thats enough of that!
He then pulls his tail and disappears and pops out Stupids pocket outside the cage.
SIRRUS: (to Sally) Well, it was fun, but I got to run. Bye-bye!
He then dashes away, and Sally roars in anger and smashes through the glass.
Sally punches both scientists and sends them through the wall, making shaped holes and she runs after Sirrus.
ACME ACRES ZOO-DAY
Minerva, the Warners and the Tiny Toons are all waiting for Sirrus.
YAKKO: I wonder whats taking Sirrus so long.
BUSTER: Something tells me that those doctorss were trying to trick him.
MINERVA: What do you-
Sirrus then pops out of a fountain and lands in Minervas arms.
SIRRUS: Miss me?
MINERVA: What took so long?
SIRRUS: Well, Sally, the Amazonian Polefox, didnt really like the guy I set her up with, and she now wants me.
SIRRUS: Its a long story.
Sally then smashes through a wall and runs for Sirrus.
SIRRUS: And thats my cue to exit.
Sirrus then dashes away with Sally close behind.
YAKKO: Why cant that happen to me?
DOT: (slaps him in the back of the head) Focus! We gotta save him!
They all dash to find Sirrus.
Sally is sniffing the air to find Sirrus when an Italian man walks up with a cart.
MAN: Hey, who wants a hot dog? Theyre a nice and hot and tasty! They a come with a mustard, relish and beans.
Sally gives him a dollar and he gives her a hot dog. She swallows it in one bite. Her face turns red and she screams making fire shoot out her mouth as she dunks her head into a fountain. The man then spins into Sirrus.
SIRRUS: They dont call them hot dogs for nothing.
He chuckles and dashes away.
The Warners are dashing and popping out of various objects, looking for Sirrus. They soon meet with the others.
WAKKO: This is'nt good! Who knows what that Sally will do to him.
FIFI: Well, last time, whenevere she got ahold of my lizard of L'amou-
Fifi notices the raised eyebrow of nearly everyone and the glare from Hamton and Minerva.
FIFI: Pardone moi, I mean Sirrus. Anyway, last time, she would throw herself on him and start to make out with him.He said it made his whole body burn with lust.
Minerva, meanwhile, is gritting her teeth tightly and tightening her fists.
FIFI: He even tried dropping an anvil on her, but she just tossed it aside. And as much as he tried to fight it, he could'nt control himself.
Minerva then shoots up and stomps away.
MINERVA: I'm gonna give that slutty fox a piece of my mind!
The Warners rush to her and try to stop her.
YAKKO: She might kill you!
WAKKO: She's an animal!
DOT: She's vicious!
MINERVA: And she has MY man!
They then hear a loud whistleand Sirrus smashes into the ground. He pops back to normal with stars spinning around his head. Minerva rushes to his side and helps him up.
MINERVA: Are you okay, baby?!
SIRRUS: Yeah, I just-
Sally suddenly tosses Minerva aside and grabs Sirrus and starts licking him. Minerva gets up with fire in her eyes.
MINERVA: How DARE you steal my man!!
She then starts to grow. Both Sally and Sirrus look with huge fearful eyes.
MINERVA: No one steals my beau! NOONE!!!
SIRRUS: (to Sally) Been nice knowin' ya.
He then squirms out of Sally's arms are rushes to the others.
SIRRUS: HIT THE DIRT!!!
He, the Warners and the Tiny Toons duck into a trench as Minerva continues to grow. A massive explosion then creates a huge crater and an enormous mushroom cloud rises into the air and the entire city is rocked to the ground. The toons look to see a glaring Minerva tapping her foot and standing over a smoking and shivering Sally.
MINERVA: Get out of here!
Sally then runs away yelping.
The others then all push Sirrus toward Minerva. Sirrus is sunken into himself and is shaking in fear.
SIRRUS: "gulp" Y-y-y-y-y-yes, Minerva?
Minerva then smiles warmly.
MINERVA: Come here and give your girl a kiss!
Minerva then gives him a loving kiss and gives him a tight hug. Sirrus then grins slyly.
SIRRUS: (to the camera) Eat your heart out Katie-Ka-BOOM!
The screen then irises out to black.